Relationships vs Attachments

One of our human challenges is lurking in our desire to form relationships, to be part of a couple. This desire for a mate is inherently a good desire. But, unfortunately, we tend to believe that the reason for that desire is that someone out there can and should fill in our other half. Apparently we mistakenly believe that some essential part of us was left out by our Creator Spirit and that part remains missing. With these thoughts, all the difficulties begin to arise. We fail to allow the other half of our couple to be who he is meant to be. Suddenly we know what he or she should change, mostly, of course, to satisfy our personal criteria of the perfect mate.

How do we enter into these relationships? Too many times we feel an emotional/physical draw to someone and ignore all of our intuitive sensing to the contrary. We know on some level or other that there is little chance of success with this person, that many existing personal differences cannot possibly create the meld into a real coupling, but passion wins. With barely a second thought,we plow in head first. Soon we find that we do not have a relationship of give and take. It is not a mutual support system where each person is allowed and encouraged to be true to their unique self.

Whenever we settle for a kind of attachment as opposed to a real relationship, we open the door to pain, disappointment and loss. This sort of attachment is actually an attempt to possess another. The inevitable always happens because each of us is here on the earth plain to evolve, to grow, to become more of the spirit led individual we were created to be. That kind of growth will not be stopped for long by anyone or anything. In even the best of relationships, people can and do grow apart and separate. There is no pain in that separation unless a strong attachment or possessiveness was there.

As mature beings, we need to know that love can exist without a controlling component. We need to know that it is alright to separate and move on when that is the best solution in a broken relationship. As long as we are willing to leave attachment out of our couplings, we can enjoy each other for as long as we are together giving love and appreciation. We can also part without feeling bereft, without days of mourning our loss. We can wish the other partner the best and mean it.

If we are truly aware in our relationships, if we are really seeing and sensing on deep inner levels, strong ties can be forged with another person without the negative element of attachment. Only through developing and listening to our personal intuitive understanding will we stop making too quick and sometimes faulty choices in our unions. Only then will we gain greater joy, love and growth in these joinings.

When you love and respect your own special uniqueness, you will cease expecting someone outside yourself to give you the validation and confidence to move forward toward your goals and life path. You will realize that a beautiful relationship is only an option, an added extra bonus. You will know that you are now, and always have been, completely whole.